Year of Hope
by Angry Warrior
Summary: Year of Hell rewritten previously posted but reposted once formatting errors were fixed.


by: AW

Pairing: J/C  
Rated MA  
Summary: Episode Addition to 'Year of Hell'  
Disclaimer: Paramount/Viacom own the series and the characters that are related to Star Trek: Voyager, but the story is mine.  
Length: 16,862 words  
October 2009

"Happy birthday."

Kathryn wouldn't even look at him as he held the gift in his hand, "Happy what?"

"Today is May 20th."

Kathryn heard the words and stared up at him with confusion and to a certain extent surprise in her eyes, "Is it? I thought we were still in April. Guess I've lost track of the time."

Chakotay handed her the watch and waited for a response, "Well this should help."

She stared at it, it was beautiful and just the sort of thing that Chakotay would give her, "It's beautiful."

He slowly explained the meaning of the watch to her and all she could think was, even amiss all the turmoil, he believed she was going to get them home. "I appreciate the sentiment, but I can't keep this. Recycle it. Can't afford to waste energy on nonessentials."

She lifted her head and stared into his eyes. He looked almost heartbroken as she placed it back in his hands. "Kathryn, I replicated this months ago. I've been saving it. I wanted you to have it."

She stared at him once more, what did it mean. Was he trying to tell her that there was still time, time for them, time for life? What did it mean. Kathryn all of a sudden felt an irrational fear and leaned back on the Captain. "That watch represents a meal, a hypospray, or a pair of boots. It could mean the difference between life and death one day."

The Captain and Commander finished shift and trekked back to the quarters they now shared due to the lack of space and energy.

Kathryn had forced everyone to pair up and try to conserve what little energy they had left in the computer banks.

They sat and stared at each other across the table. Food rations were becoming a must lately, there was nothing else.

Kathryn watched as her ship and her life fell apart before her very eyes.

She sat on the couch and let her head fall to her hands.

The tears fell and Chakotay watched amazed at the together and infinitely strong Captain lost it. "I can't do this anymore Chakotay."

He walked up to her and put a hand under her chin tilting her head up to look into his eyes. "Yes you can. You always do."

The tears began to fall more freely. "I can't Chakotay. Maybe this time we won't get out of it, maybe this time our luck has simply 'run out'."

He smiled at her. "I know you don't believe that. Your belief that we would get through anything and get back to the Alpha Quadrant is all that has gotten many of us this far."

She stared into his eyes and their eyes locked momentarily and the sexual tension of years gone by seemed to flood them both in an instant.

Slowly, almost timidly she let her lips touch his.

He jumped back at first, almost afraid that it would end or that she would cut the kiss off. Then as he stared into her expressive blue orbs he realized that all she needed was comfort and reassurance and maybe that would have to be enough.

He gave into the feeling and the kiss deepened.

His hand reached up and gently pulled away the layers of uniform that protected her from the world and the harm that the universe might cause.

He stared at her body in naked wonderment and wondered if all that had brought her to this point was loneliness.

He shook his head and continued none-the-less his most precious dream coming true.

Then the spell was broken, as a hail from the bridge called both commanding officers back to their lives as Captain and Commander of their broken ship and broken lives.

Kathryn swiftly re-entered the Captain's body and they both headed to the bridge, an apology in her eyes for a moment lost and possibly a love never re-kindled.

[Bridge]

Kathryn and Chakotay entered the bridge, the Captain all of a sudden appearing to grow before his very eyes and he wondered at what allowed her to do it.

What allowed her to block off Kathryn the moment that the ship needed the Captain.

He watched her sit in her chair and immediately left for deflector control at the Captain's nod of encouragement.

The Captain not Kathryn, at the moment Kathryn existed nowhere but for a brief moment in the solitude of their quarters and in his mind.

Kathryn spun around at Tuvok's voice, "Computer, activate tactile interface."

She stared at him, "Weapons status?"

"Phasers are still online. Torpedo launchers are still inoperative."

Tom spoke up, "The Krenim are within visual range."

Kathryn shook her head, "On screen." She knew Chakotay would be in deflector control or astrometrics or somewhere trying to get Kathryn's ship running.

"Seven's modified temporal shields should be online in a moment."

Harry was there and piped up sounding like a scared teenager, "It's a warship."

She stared at the back of Tom's head, "You know the routine."

"Evasive manoeuvres."

Kim's frightened voice opened up once more, "They're matching course."

Kathryn heard Chakotay's voice open over the comm. line as he was begging her to just hold them off a little longer.

Then the hail turned to someone else, "Bridge to Seven of Nine. Where are those shields?"

He heard her hesitate and then the words, "Stand by." Exited the comm. line and Chakotay wondered if those would be the last words he'd ever hear as the ship rocked and perhaps he and Kathryn were not meant to fulfill their dreams of the future.

[Bridge]

Kathryn turned to Harry. He was panicking, "They're charging weapons."

Kathryn heard Chakotay at Seven's side encouraging her to go further to make those shields work. Finally she stated, "Seven, we could a little of that Borg efficiency right about now."

Paris' hands flew across the panel and Kathryn stared at his magic pilot's hands, hoping that they would pull one more rabbit out of their hat.

Then she stared at the front and gave herself in to whatever future would come whether that was death or finally taking that leap with Chakotay. Tom almost squealed, "I can't shake them!"

Then Harry's words, and Kathryn gave in, "They're targeting the bridge!"

And Kathryn drew in what could be, but what she hoped wasn't her last breath: She had so much left to do in this life. She closed her eyes, losing herself in the moment when it was interrupted by Seven's hail, "Temporal shielding is online."

And she knew she would live for one more day.

Kathryn stared around the bridge taking in everyone's tired expressions and realizing that no matter what she wasn't sure how much longer any of them could last.

Kim's voice full of the hope that she heard for the first time in a while, "They're firing!"

Time seemed to stand still as Chakotay entered the bridge and they waited for the inevitable weapons fire that was coming. "Full port thrusters!"

Tuvok's voice of reason broke Kathryn from her frozen moment, "Temporal shields are holding. No damage."

"Hail them."

"Channel open."

Kathryn once again succumbed to the overpowering presence of the Captain, "Krenim vessels, this is the Captain of Voyager. You may have noticed we have a defence against your torpedoes now. I suggest you stand down."

"No response."

Kathryn felt the strong feeling that for the first time since this ordeal with the Krenim began she was once again in control. "Their mistake. Bring the ship about. We're going through their space whether they like it or not."

Kathryn watched as the Krenim ship continued to follow them but powered down their weapons. She shook her head: once again time had been on their side. Tuvok answered Kathryn's unasked question, "Captain, the Krenim warship is in pursuit, but their weapons are not powered."

Kathryn smiled, something she felt she hasn't done in far too long, "They don't know what to do with us now that we're shielded against their torpedoes."

Kathryn stared around the bridge at the people who had helped her get through everything.

She heard them tell her that there was a spacial/temporal distortion headed their way and that they were unable to escape it.

Kathryn felt the ship rock and felt the wave pass over them as the ship shook.

She watched as the Krenim warship became something else before her very eyes and she shook her head at the change.

She looked to Chakotay. "Commander, let's go down to the astrometrics lab there is something going on here that we're not seeing."

Kathryn and Chakotay took the turbolift to deck 10 and they felt the tension in the turbolift grow as they headed towards astrometrics.

Kathryn placed a hand on Chakotay's arm. "I'm sorry."

And the rest of the ride was accomplished in silence.

[Astrometrics Lab]

Seven heard the doors to astrometrics opening and watched as Voyager's two most senior officers walked in. "Sensors are online. Power levels are stable."

Kathryn stared at Seven looking for answers, "Is the astrometric database still intact?"

"Yes."

She looked at Seven, "Thank you: you're dismissed crewman. I know you need to regenerate and I'm giving you that time."

Seven nodded and walked out of astrometrics. She looked at Chakotay, "Display the scans we made of this region before the temporal shockwave hit."

"Spatial grid zero zero five"

Kathryn stared at the changed form of the Krenim Imperium, "Same space, different configuration, exactly as you said to me. The Imperium appears to have been reduced to a few planets, and a smattering of vessels. It appears that someone, or something has altered history. But why weren't we affected?

Chakotay looked at the scans and stated to Janeway, "The shockwave emanated from a planet twenty light-years away. The Garenor homeworld."

"The Garenor? We passed their planet three weeks ago."

"That planet has no one on it anymore. They've disappeared."

"What are you talking about Chakotay, we were there three weeks ago and it was full of life."

"I don't understand it Kathryn, but astrometric data indicates that the instant the shock wave appeared the Garenor species vanished."

"Erased from history."

Chakotay shook his head. "Kathryn, what's going on?"

She stared at the astrometrics scans once more. "I'm no authority on time travel, in fact I've made it my goal in life to avoid it, but this sounds to me like a causality paradox. Think about it. The temporal shock wave eliminates a single species and all of history changes as a result."

Kathryn stared at Chakotay. If this trend continued they might be gone before the day was over too and Kathryn wasn't willing to miss out on a piece of her life that she knew nothing about. She approached Chakotay and her lips hit his.

Chakotay backed away surprised by the contact in a time of such crisis. She stared up at him and he saw the truth in her eyes: She was scared.

"Kathryn what –"

"We might be gone tomorrow we live a dangerous life and if either one of us never came back I don't think the other could forgive themselves for missing out on the opportunity: I love you Chakotay, and I'm just sorry that it took me this long to admit it."

Chakotay shook his head and realized that Kathryn was just following her gut instinct that tomorrow might never come and that sometimes she had to live for today.

He reached up and brushed his hand over her cheek. His lips went down and met hers in a kiss full of promise.

Her tiny hand fumbled with the clasp of his trousers; her breathing sped up and the moment that they had both been waiting for their entire life began.

[Day 70]

Ever since Kathryn had succumbed to her emotions, they had been nearly inseparable. "We have to abandon ship Kathryn, there's no other way around it. There's barely enough of the ship to keep going."

"I can't Chakotay, I can't break up the family, I can't let them go."

Chakotay's large hand wiped the tears that she had allowed to escape from her cheeks. "Sometimes, you don't have a choice."

Kathryn silently nodded, "Call everyone and ask them to meet us in the mess hall in one hour."

Kathryn walked out of the quarters and followed Chakotay as he called for the meeting. They went to the bridge and looked at many of the crew that they knew they would not see for a long time to come and the ones that would stay and try to make the ship whole again.

A vessel approached and Kathryn watched as the ship almost overcome her ship, but stay out of the line of travel of the Voyager.

Kim spoke up and Kathryn knew they weren't alone. "That entire vessel's in a state of temporal flux. It's like they exist outside space-time."

"They're scanning us."

*Time to take action Kathryn.* "Get a lock on them."

"I'm trying, but I can't isolate their signals."

"We're being hailed."

"On screen."

Kathryn watched in horror as Chakotay and Paris disappeared from her life. She had finally let Chakotay in and he was gone. Kathryn saw an alien – she would learn to call Annorax – "State your identity."

"I'm Captain Janeway of the Federation Starship Voyager. Who are you, and where are my men?"

On the viewscreen she watched the man respond, "I am Annorax of the Krenim Imperium. We've transferred your crewmen to my vessel for further analysis. Your ship does not come from this quadrant."

Kathryn felt almost beside herself with the loss of Chakotay, and she knew as she watched B'Elanna that she felt much the same way. She shook her head then she locked eyes with the Lieutenant and she knew that B'Elanna knew, she could see the understanding and the sorrow in her eyes.

She turned back to the screen. "We've been observing some rather unusual events in the region. It seems your Imperium never existed. Perhaps you could shed some light on this?"

"That doesn't concern you. What is important is that you understand that I bear you no hostility, but you have diverted me from my mission."

"Your mission. You're responsible for the changes in the time line."

Annorax stared her down, "You're a long way from your world. In a manner of speaking, so am I. Unfortunately, only one of us can go home again. Your sacrifice will restore the lives of countless millions. I'm sorry."

Kathryn looked at the viewscreen feeling fright boiling up in her stomach but knowing she couldn't show it. Kim forced her out of her inner turmoil: "I'm reading a massive energy build-up. Some kind of weapon."

"Shields."

"Temporal shields are weakening."

"Captain, that energy beam. It's pushing Voyager out of the space-time continuum."

Kathryn turned around and stared at her crew, "He's trying to erase us from history."

Harry voiced the concerns she knew both her and B'Elanna were thinking, "What about Tom and Chakotay?"

Kathryn drew in a deep breath steadying herself; she could get through this "We'll have to come back for them. All hands clear the outer sections and prepare for wide-scale breaches. Tuvok, activate the transverse bulkheads." She paused, looking one last time at the ship that held her mate, "Engage warp seven."

Tuvok told what she needed to hear, transverse bulkheads were holding with a minimum of casualties. They all had to make it through this: for Tom and Chakotay.

[Mess Hall]

Kathryn stood at the front of the messhall and stared at each of the faces of the people that were gathered around her.

She felt like crying but she knew she had to be strong for the crew; make them believe that they were all going to get through this. She looked to B'Elanna then she turned to the crew and walked amongst them as she stated.

"Each of you has done their best, but determination alone isn't going to hold this ship together. It's time we faced reality. We've lost nine decks, more than half the ship has been destroyed. Life support is nearly gone. Voyager can no longer sustain it's crew. I promised myself that I would never give this order, that I would never break up this family, but asking you to stay would be asking you to die.

You will proceed to the escape pods and evacuate this vessel. Set your course for the alpha quadrant. Along the way, try to find allies, secure faster ships if you can, anything to get home. The senior staff and I will remain on board as long as possible." She walked up to B'Elanna and squeezed her shoulder, trying to make her see that she would find their partners no matter what. "We will try somehow to rescue Tom and Chakotay. The escape pods are equipped with subspace beacons. That's how we'll keep track of you. When we find each other again, and we will, we will find each other again, I expect all of you to be in one piece with some interesting stories to tell." She looked into B'Elanna's eyes, and knew that all her chief engineer saw was hope and promise. "Good luck."

[Day 133]

Kathryn sat in her ready room and ran a hand over her belly. *Why did this have to happen now.* Her ship was being eaten alive by rocks and dust and Chakotay was gone...and she was pregnant.

She picked up the pieces of her lucky tea cup and smashed them once again against the wall. The shattering noise rung in her ears: The cup was like her life, shattered.

She hadn't gone and seen the doctor yet, but she felt like crap, and she had missed her period. *Damn, damn, damn.*

They had just let it go all the way the once and here she was. There were only seven other crewmembers left on the ship, a ship built for 150 and she had to make it right.

She had gotten a hail from one of the escape pods they had discovered a wormhole leading to the far reaches of the Delta Quadrant – Almost the Beta Quadrant – and had found a hospitable planet. 120 of her crewmembers had made it there in one piece; and she had received the coordinates, so that's where they were headed.

As soon as she got the father of her child and B'Elanna's partner back.

She sighed and began her log: "Captain's Log, Stardate 51425.4. Our condition has left us vulnerable to spatial anomalies and to any alien species eager for a piece of hardware. We've taken refuge in a class nine nebula."

[Corridor]

Kathryn got a frantic hail from Harry and made her way down to the hall on deck three. She put on her mask and made her way through the doors that would show her the 'indoor nebula' that Harry had spoken to her about.

She momentarily hesitated as she thought about the baby she carried and then she thought about the fate of her crew, as well as Chakotay and Tom. "Come on! Don't do this to me now! Emergency force fields are holding. How the hell did all this gas get inside?"

"Looks like a malfunction in the ventilation system. Okay, I'm going to try reversing the osmotic pressure on this deck. Whoa! The gas corroded the circuit relays."

"Let's bypass."

Harry had been hardened over the past two and a half months, but he was still a little frightened when he stated, "We've got three minutes of air left."

She looked into Harry's eyes, "How long can you hold your breath?"

She worked on the panels and made the ship work. Everything had to work, she had to get her crew back. As she finished the work she grabbed Harry's arm guiding him into a room that was devoid of the gas.

He followed her and they reached the clear room, Kathryn quickly pulled the mask off her face and sank down to the floor taking in as much oxygen as she could cognizant of the child she carried.

She sighed and stood up knowing the two of them had to get back to the bridge. She coughed sounding a little worse for wear.

"Are you okay Captain?"

"I'm fine Harry, thanks. We have to get back up to the bridge."

Harry nodded and followed her to the bridge.

[Bridge]

The EMH popped onto the bridge followed by Harry. The EMH approached Kathryn, "Ensign Kim found time to be treated. So can you."

Kathryn knew that she should get checked out, but then the doctor would know her dirty little secret. "How is Harry?"

"He'll be fine, but I'm surprised he didn't asphyxiate. I told you eight minutes on that deck, not eight and a half, not nine, and certainly not twelve."

Kathryn looked down at the ground and thought about the life she carried, then Kathryn succumbed to the Captain. "Would you rather have an indoor nebula? If we didn't stop it then and there, it would have flooded another two decks." She whipped around and stared at B'Elanna, "B'Elanna, engines."

"Not yet Captain. One of the warp nacelles is still offline. The other one's a lost cause."

"Route all available power to the good one."

The EMH stared at her incredulous, as he began to scan her, "The alveoli in your lungs have been chemically burned. I want you off your feet for the next forty eight hours."

Kathryn attempted to walk away from him so that he could no longer scan her. "Impossible. I've got too much work to do."

The EMH stared at the tricorder unsure if he was seeing what he thought he was seeing, "Captain -"

Kathryn turned around and glared at him. "In my ready room doctor."

[Ready Room]

Kathryn rushed through the doors to the ready room with the Doctor in tow. She spun around, "I know doctor, and I don't want to hear it."

"You're 10 weeks pregnant Captain."

She sighed and looked at her feet, "I know doctor."

"Why didn't you come see me sooner?"

Kathryn shook her head. "I couldn't. Chakotay's not even on this ship and he doesn't know, I'm not sure that he ever will."

The doctor scanned her once more. "Surprisingly enough your daughter seems to be in good health." He paused looking her over, "You knew you were pregnant when you went into that danger with the nebular gas?"

Kathryn looked down at her stomach, "I can't let go of the fact that I'll see Chakotay again and he'll see his – daughter? Did you say I was having a girl?"

The EMH nodded, "And if you don't start taking better care of yourself, lay off the coffee, and put on a few pounds you might not have a child at all."

Kathryn placed a hand on her belly in wonderment. "I'm going to give Chakotay a daughter."

The doctor stared at her, "May I now please fix the damage to your lungs. I need to tell you that 'your daughter' needs her oxygen."

The Captain sat on the couch and waited as the doctor fixed the damage to her lungs. She sighed and looked down at her tummy.

She had been so busy trying to hide the possibility of her condition that she hadn't realized there was a small swell beginning to make itself known.

She let a tear fall down her cheeks and stared at the doctor. "You sure she's okay."

The doctor nodded, "For now she appears to be in good health, but remember what I told you: you have to take care of yourself."

She nodded and dismissed the Doctor.

[Krenim Timeship – Day 144]

Chakotay looked at Tom. "I need to get back to her."

Tom shook his head, "And you think that I don't want to get back to B'Elanna?"

Chakotay shook his head, "You know that's not what I meant."

Tom sighed, "I know, and I know you want to see Kathryn soon: I know you love her, just like I love B'Elanna."

"Annorax for all his 'genius' you know he can't find Kathryn. She's hiding from him."

Chakotay shook his head. "I know but we 'need' to find her."

"I know, but we have to find a way out of here first."

Chakotay nodded, "I know, but it's been almost three months." He paused and looked desperately at Tom, "I've been talking to Annorax, and I think that he has some ideas that could work: he could get us back to Voyager and get himself back to his wife."

"Chakotay we can't trust him."

He looked desperately at Tom, "We have to try Tom."

[Mess Hall – Day 180]

Kathryn stood with the rest of the senior staff that were still on the Voyager. Her hand fell to her belly and she knew that it wouldn't be long before she couldn't hide her condition any longer. The baby was growing at an alarming rate now.

She was almost four months along and that morning she had felt her daughter move for the first time.

She sighed as B'Elanna made a toast. "To distant friends."

Neelix was trying to brighten their mood, "Well?"

Kathryn watched at Tuvok's Vulcan control was tested, "Interesting."

B'Elanna knew the taste, "Ration cubes."

"Well, yes, yes, but this time, pureed and mixed with water and enhanced with Talaxian spices."

The doctor spoke, "I'm happy to report I've repaired the optronic error in my program."

Kathryn was glad that the doctor was mobile again, "And the power grid?"

"We're operating at thirty two percent efficiency. I think I can bring it up to fifty, but I'll need a few more days."

She turned to B'Elanna, "Warp drive?"

"I'm still having trouble with the starboard nacelle."

"I thought this nebula would be a safe haven until we finished repairs, but it's turning into a permanent residence. We've got to get back into open space, find allies, put together a fighting force to take on Annorax. We're leaving this damn cloud first thing tomorrow morning."

She looked at everyone, "We leave tomorrow, oh eight hundred hours."

Seven went to object but a steady hand on her arm from Tuvok stopped her.

[Bridge]

Kathryn sat on the bridge in her command chair and turned to look at B'Elanna, hoping that the ship would survive. "Engines."

"I'm doing my best."

Harry looked at his Captain, "With the deflector down those micro-meteoroids are beginning to erode the hull."

"Emergency power to the deflector."

Tuvok stated the inevitable, "None available."

Kathryn placed a hand on her belly and stared at the ceiling, *God forgive me. Chakotay I never meant for it to be like this.* "I'll be in Deflector control."

"Captain. That entire section has been designated hazard level four."

She stared at Tuvok, praying everything would be okay, "I know."

[Outside Deflector Control]

Kathryn ran down the corridor towards Deflector Control. When she reached the door she pried it open, the flames burning and the heat hitting her face. "Oh, why do I get the feeling you're testing me, Voyager? Bridge, there's a fire in Deflector control. Any luck with the engines?"

[Bridge]

B'Elanna sat on the bridge, staring at the senior officers who were still there, "The warp core's still offline."

Harry looked at her, after scanning his readings. "Micro-meteoroid density is increasing –"

[Outside Deflector Control]

Kathryn stared at the room her hand running over her belly, feeling the child almost begging her not to do what she knew she had to do. She heard Harry continuing over the comm. line, "- is increasing. The nacelle pylon is buckling."

She drew in a deep breath and hit her commbadge, "Bridge, I'm going in. Stand by to engage the Deflector. Tell the Doctor I'll be coming back with severe burns."

[Bridge]

Tuvok attempted to convince her that she couldn't do this, "Captain."

[Outside Deflector Control]

Kathryn had made up her mind. "Do it." She stared into the room once again and picked up a piece of bulkhead to use as protection. She got up the energy and looked to the ceiling of her ship, "Be kind."

[Bridge]

On the bridge Harry stared at his reading's seeing what the Captain was doing. He watched as the readings improved and stated to Tuvok and B'Elanna: "The Captain's accessed manual control.

She's stabilising the particle emitters."

B'Elanna shook her head and waited for the confirmation. Finally Harry told them all what they needed to know, "She's got it! Deflectors on-line!"

Tuvok ran his hands over the panel. "Activating deflector field."

Once the deflector was back online he called to Janeway hoping that she was okay. "Bridge to Janeway. Captain, please respond."

Inside deflector control Kathryn passed out, hoping they'd find her before her daughter passed away before she even got a chance to live.

[Mess Hall]

Kathryn sat up feeling the pain in her head increasing and her hand flying to her abdomen. "The baby?"

The doctor glared at her, shaking his head in disapproval of what she had done. Kathryn felt the bump and hoped that the child was alright. She refused to turn her head to look at him and see the disapproval in his 'eyes'. "What's my condition?"

"That child you carry is apparently as stubborn as her mother but you can't keep doing this to yourself. There are seven other members of the crew on the ship: You're the Captain, delegate."

He paused looking at the broken woman, "You suffered third degree burns over approximately sixty percent of your body. I've healed most of them but without a dermal regenerator I couldn't repair all the damage to your skin. You've been left with scars on your face and arms. Although considering what you did when you were four months pregnant I think that's the least of your worries."

Kathryn stared at the marks on her hands and arms, and ran the scarred skin over her belly. "I'll consider them mementos."

"Not so fast. You're spending the next few days here with me."

"What for?"

"Observation."

Kathryn's jaw dropped open at the insinuation, "Is there something else wrong with me?"

"Not physically. At the moment you're fine and so is the baby."

"What are you suggesting?" She knew exactly what he was suggesting at that moment.

"Traumatic stress syndrome. Symptoms. Irritability, sleeplessness, obsessional thoughts, reckless behaviour. All of which you've demonstrated over the last few weeks."

Kathryn glared at him, "Did you ever think that the irritablility and sleeplessness only had to do with the fact that I'm pregnant and suffering something awful from morning sickness?" Then she thought about it and shot back the Captain's answer. "And my only obsession is with saving my ship, my people. If I've been taking some reckless chances in order to do that, it's hardly a medical condition."

"I'm not going to stand here while you rationalise another brush with death."

She spun on him, "You don't have to."

"As chief medical officer I have the authority to relieve you of your command."

She shook her head at him, "You're not going to do that."

"If, in my medical opinion, your judgment has been impaired, I can. And I will."

The Captain came to the forefront, she had to stay in control. "Try it and I'll shut down your program."

The doctor looked at the Captain, embarrassed that he was that dispensable and ashamed that she would sink to that level. "That threat in itself is evidence of your unstable condition."

"I am sorry, Doctor. I've been operating on instinct for so long I did not think before I spoke. I have no intention of deactivating you. But I won't stay in this mess hall."

"Is that final?"

"Final."

The EMH understood her position and respected her decisions, but he knew that he had to do something to try and keep her and the child safe. "Then you leave me no choice. Captain Kathryn Janeway, under Starfleet medical regulation one twenty one, section A, I, the Chief Medical officer, do hereby relieve you of your active command, effective immediately." Kathryn's jaw dropped open and she stared at him as he gave the final blow. "Have a seat."

Kathryn decided it was time to play her trump card, "How do you plan to implement this protocol, Doctor? Mister Tuvok doesn't have a security team, both the brigs have been destroyed, and with the internal force fields offline you'll have a hell of a time keeping me confined. You'd better grab a phaser, because before I give up command you'll have to shoot me."

The Doctor looked startled that she'd even suggest that he would raise a weapon to not only his Captain but a pregnant woman and finally decided to go by the books. "You realize this incident will be noted in my official logs. By refusing my orders you risk a general court-martial."

She looked at him: "Compared to what I've been through the past few months, a court-martial would be a small price to pay. When we get the boys back and if we end up going back home, I'll gladly face the music."

Kathryn walked through the corridors, Neelix at her side seeing the damage that the Krenim had caused her ship over the months that this had happened.

They slowly approached Chakotay's quarters: Kathryn with the tricorder scanning for damage and Neelix following close behind. Kathryn walked into the quarters and felt as if she were invading his privacy in many ways, but as she saw the watch, still part of him still sitting in his quarters waiting for her to claim it, she knew she loved him and had to get him back.

She looked to Neelix, "He disobeyed orders."

"Captain?"

Her hands went to her belly and she almost cried as the child inside her moved. She shook her head, "Chakotay gave this to me five months ago. A birthday gift. I ordered him to..." Kathryn stopped talking as she ran her hands up and down her stomach and pulled the watch up on the belt loop of her pants. She spun around and showed Neelix, "What do you think?"

"Handsome."

She stared at Neelix, "Come on. We have to give my daughter her father back."

Neelix stared at her somewhat shocked. "I think that when we get Chakotay back he'll make the best father for this child possible."

Kathryn nodded and felt the tears in her eyes. She felt as if she was fighting a battle that she would have trouble winning, but one she had to for her love.

"Let's get back to the bridge and get this ship into the space where the crew had told us they had 'settled'."

Neelix stared at the Captain and knew they would make it.

[Krenim Timeship - Chakotay's quarters]

In Chakotay's quarters on the Krenim ship, Chakotay thought about how they were going to get out of the mess and how he was going to get back to Kathryn.

Tom walked into his quarters and up to Chakotay, "If that little display doesn't convince you I don't know what will. He's insane."

Chakotay felt 'close' to this man in some ways. "You don't know what he's been through."

"He's lost his family. Okay, that's a terrible thing. But so has everyone else on this ship. And frankly, so have we!" Tom stared at Chakotay, "I know that you and Kathryn had finally made it right, and I know that you want to get back to her; and I have to get back to B'Elanna."

Chakotay stared at him, trying to keep his cool, command status in tact while he thought of Kathryn alone, trying to make the ship and whatever plan they had work. "What kind of progress have you made?"

"Obrist is coming around, and I think we can trust him. He says he'll give me access to their communications array. I can send a message to Voyager from the comfort of my own quarters."

"You and me working from within."

Tom looked at Chakotay, "And Captain Janeway attacking from Voyager. That is, if the Captain's still alive."

He knew she was alive, he still felt her life force in his mind and in his body. "She's alive. Send the message. Transmit our coordinates."

"Done."

"And, give Kathryn my best."

[Bridge of Voyager – Day 220]

The doctor pulled her aside. "You are now almost six months pregnant, the crew knows, what did you have in mind?"

"We're going to make our way to the planet that as far as I know the crew that are left has settled on; but first I need to get Tom and Chakotay back. I got a message today, and I've analysed every carrier frequency of their transmission. It contains a classified Starfleet id code."

The doctor stared at her, "I'm not going to sit and watch you try to justify yet another brush with death and another trauma to this child."

"Let's get the senior staff together and we'll talk about it then."

Kathryn walked into the meeting room with the doctor in tow. She stared around the group of travellers that had followed her. They all knew at this point that she was pregnant and they all accepted it without question.

Kathryn finished the meeting telling them that Tom and Chakotay were alive and that they had been sent a message. "I've analysed every carrier frequency of their transmission. It contains a classified Starfleet id code. It could only have come from Tom Paris. It's real. The co-ordinates he sent should lead us directly to the Weapon ship."

Tuvok turned to her, "Location?"

"Approximately fifty light-years from here. Our job will be to disable the ship and get our people out. Is everyone clear? "

"Yes ma'am."

B'Elanna turned to her, "Aye Captain."

"Dismissed."

The whole senior staff exited the room except B'Elanna. She looked at the Captain, "It's Chakotay's baby isn't it?"

Kathryn let a tear fall down her cheek and nodded without saying another word. "I have to get him back B'Elanna."

She stared at her Captain, "Does he know you're pregnant?"

Kathryn gave a mirthless laugh, "How could he know? It was just once B'Elanna: We finally got it right, let ourselves be together and I get pregnant."

B'Elanna went up to Kathryn and hugged her, "We'll get him back and he'll see his daughter grow up Kathryn. He'll see her; we'll all do our best to make sure that happens."

B'Elanna went to exit the room, and Kathryn's words stopped her. "Lanna, I just want you to know how good a friend you've been through all of this." She paused, "I really appreciate it. I'm not sure how I would have made it through this without you."

B'Elanna smiled and nodded. "Kathryn we all believe in you and we'll get them back."

"Thanks B'Elanna."

And she exited the meeting room.

Kathryn looked around the empty room and flopped down in the chair, hoping against hopes that everything would be okay.

[Bridge]

B'Elanna had gotten the engines working enough that they could head for the ship; pick up the men; and then they could head to safety. At least that's what she hoped.

She watched Kathryn walk out of the briefing room and sighed. "I have the engines working enough that we can get moving to the weapons ship; and I got transporters online.

Kathryn nodded and heavily sat down in her chair. She sighed, "Okay people. Here's what we're going to do. I understand that there are problems with this ship; but we have enough stuff going for us that we can get Tom and Chakotay and head the way that the rest of the crew has."

The all nodded, "Aye, Captain."

Kathryn sighed and inputted into her console the coordinates that Tom had sent them. She pointed to the spot on the screen where Tom and Chakotay were being held. "We head to the ship. Tom told us exactly where to hit them so that their shields go down; then we will transport them out and head to the wormhole that the crew that is left discovered."

"Yes ma'am." She heard Harry's voice come from behind and she knew that every one of these people trusted her implicitly. The Captain sighed and looked to Seven who had taken a seat next to her. Kathryn patted her on the shoulder, "We'll get through this."

Seven nodded and went back to the upper level to tactical.

[3 hours later]

Kathryn stared at the weapons ship. She sighed, "Are we ready people?"

Harry nodded and nodded his head, "We have the forward torpedo tube armed, and three torpedoes ready for deployment."

Kathryn nodded and stood up, "Do you have the coordinates programmed in?"

B'Elanna looked to Seven and nodded from ops.

Kathryn took in a deep breath, "Fire!"

The ship had a weak spot in their starboard aft side and they hit it right on. "Direct hit, I've got a lock on Chakotay and Tom."

"Transport them to the bridge; and then jump to warp three towards the coordinates of the wormhole."

"Yes Captain."

Kathryn watched the blue tingling lights and saw Chakotay appear before her very eyes. Life went in slow motion as she ran up and hugged her First Officer. "I didn't think I'd ever see you again."

Chakotay smiled and reached down and touched her belly surprise on his face. "Look at you; when's the baby due?"

She smiled, "Well your daughter will be here in about three months give or take."

Chakotay all of a sudden became the Commander again. "So what's the plan Captain?"

"Why don't we go and discuss this in my ready room and I'll get you up to speed."

Chakotay nodded and followed Kathryn to the ready room. The minute they got in the ready room Kathryn turned around and ran her hand over her belly, "Surprise?"

Chakotay approached her and placed a hand on her belly. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Honestly, I didn't know until after you were gone."

Chakotay ran his fingers over the scars that adorned Kathryn's face. "How did you get these?"

"Do you really want to know?"

Chakotay sighed, "Probably not."

He enveloped her in a hug and pulled away to look into her eyes. "I hope you've been taking care of yourself and our daughter."

"More or less; but you have to understand there were only eight of us on the ship."

He went over to the replicator and tried to order a tea and got nothing but an annoying high pitched whine. "The replicators are offline too Chakotay."

He shook his head, "Please don't tell me you've been living off of ration cubes."

Kathryn shrugged, "We had to eat something."

"So what's the plan Kathryn?"

She smiled, "We got a communiqué from some of our crew and they told us there was a wormhole at these coordinates." She pointed to the padd; and they said the planet was high in nutritional foods."

Chakotay got a sad look in his eyes, "So is this the end of the trip?"

"Maybe not the end, but it's a stop along the way."

Their discussion was halted by a hail from the bridge, "Kim to the Captain. We've arrived at the coordinates to the wormhole and it looks from all scans to be stable."

"We'll be right there Harry."

Kathryn smiled at her beau and they headed to the bridge.

Kathryn and Chakotay entered the bridge. "B'Elanna, does it look like the ship's structural integrity will hold up through the trip through the wormhole?"

B'Elanna hesitated and pulled her hand from Tom's, "I think so Captain. I have spent the last three days increasing structural integrity; so we should be okay."

Kathryn stared at the screen, "Engage."

They entered the wormhole and it was a relatively short trip. When they exited at the other side they immediately picked up the homing beacon from the settlement on the planet. She turned and looked to Tom, "Would you like to take the helm lieutenant? I think your skills would be useful when landing the ship."

Tom nodded and sat at the helm.

Kathryn tapped her commbadge, "Doctor, would you please report to the bridge."

The doctor responded, "Yes ma'am."

Chakotay turned to Harry, "Put the ship in grey mode and prepare for descent."

Harry nodded. Kathryn opened a comm. line to the planet, "This is Captain Janeway. We're going to land the ship and hopefully we'll see you all soon."

Ensign Hickman answered, "Welcome home Captain."

Kathryn had tears in her eyes and watched as the ship began the descent trajectory. She saw houses and structures in a sort of town square around what she assumed were the remains of escape pods and shuttle remains.

The ship landed with not so much as a bump and Kathryn walked up behind Tom, "Nice work lieutenant."

Tom got a cocky grin on his face, "Well I didn't want to shake that kid up anymore than it had to be."

Kathryn laughed and Chakotay approached from behind and wrapped his arms around her belly. "Welcome home Kathryn."

She covered his hands with hers. "Welcome home indeed."

Kathryn felt the fresh air of the planet as she made her way off of the ship. She looked around and the sun was shining and the grass was green.

It had been a long time since any of them had been planet side for more than a couple of hours, she sighed and looked around at what her crew had created.

Ensign Hickman walked up to Kathryn. "Hello Captain, there seems to be more of you than the last time I saw you."

Kathryn laughed, "Well, yes there is but it wasn't intentional."

Chakotay walked up to Kathryn and took her hand in his.

"And this is the lucky father I assume."

Chakotay glared at her, "Jessica, I'm not in the mood."

The Ensign blushed a bright pink and made her way back to the hall; but before she did she turned around and said, "It's almost supper time, so if you guys would like to join the rest of the crew for dinner everyone will be happy to see you."

Kathryn nodded and looked at Chakotay. "Shall we go?"

The doctor stepped up to the command couple and before they had a chance he stopped Kathryn. "Before you go and enjoy real food since I know how nasty the field rations have been: let me scan the little one and make sure she's okay."

Kathryn lifted her arms and allowed him to scan her from head to toe.

The doctor got a puzzled look on his face. "Well everything seems fine, except...I hate to tell you Captain but..."

Kathryn's face dropped, "What's wrong with my daughter?"

The doctor shook his head, "Oh nothing is wrong with your daughter, but your son is a little on the small side."

Kathryn's mouth opened. "Twins?"

The doctor looked at the surprised face of the Captain. "I didn't see him before: he was hiding behind his sister."

Chakotay rushed up to her. "Well Kathryn you're going to get it all done at once aren't you a boy and a girl."

Kathryn shook her head, "Twins?"

Chakotay laughed, "That's what the doctor says."

"God I was having enough trouble dealing with the fact that I was going to have one of these things, now you're telling me I'm going to have two."

The doctor nodded his head. "Maybe you should go and get something to eat, you are after all eating for three."

Kathryn shook her head. "My god Chakotay, I'm going to have twins."

Chakotay laughed. "Yes WE are."

He hugged her and whispered in her ear, "It'll be okay Kathryn. We'll make it."

Kathryn threw her quirky half grin his way, "The babies and I are hungry."

"Let's go see what kind of a kitchen setup our crew made; it can't be any worse than what Neelix did."

Kathryn nodded and off they went.

[Dining area – Voyager settlement]

Kathryn slipped into the dining area and quickly slid into a spot next to Tom and B'Elanna. She wanted to stay as inconspicuous as possible for the moment. Many of the crew had not seen her in her changed form yet and she wanted to keep it that way for a while.

Harry brought over the plate of food for all of them to pick what they wanted and eat.

Kathryn was famished and filled her plate. Chakotay raised an eyebrow at the amount of food she had piled on her plate. "Are you going to eat all of that?"

Kathryn had her mouth full already and nodded.

Chakotay shook his head, "Well at least this pregnancy has improved your eating habits."

The next hour the command couple went about filling their stomachs. Kathryn had not had real food in months and no matter what it was it tasted better than emergency rations.

After their dinner was done, Kathryn stood at the makeshift podium. "I'd like you thank you all for making the best of a bad situation. We're going to try and fix Voyager and hopefully continue our trip, but until then this has become our temporary home; and I'd like to say thank you to everyone."

There were whispers all around the settlement after seeing Janeway's changed form. She smiled, "As you can see Chakotay and I are expecting twins in about three months."

She heard a comment from the back of the room, "You two sure work fast."

Kathryn glared at the blue ensign, "Maybe but it might help all of you see that Voyager whether it be on the planet or on the ship, has to prepare for the future."

There were murmurs from the crew and a general nod of consent.

Chakotay took Janeway's hand and helped her down. He kissed her forehead, "You did good."

She smiled, "This wasn't exactly what I had hoped for out here, but it seems that it's necessary."

Chakotay grinned, "And have I told you recently how much I love you for doing this for me?"

Kathryn chuckled, "Well I didn't have much of a choice now did I?" She ran her hands over her abdomen and felt the children kick.

Chakotay allowed his hands to join Janeway's on her belly. "What do you say we figure out where we're going to sleep tonight and go get you and the babies to sleep."

Kathryn nodded and followed Chakotay to Crewman Henley who had inadvertently become the person in charge of sleeping arrangements on the new Voyager home.

"Well crewman they tell me that you're in charge of living arrangements."

Henley chuckled, "Yeah and judging by your 'condition' Captain, you probably only need one place for the two of you?"

Kathryn glared at her. "Laugh it up Henley, but remember I'm still the Captain."

Henley nodded having somewhat lost her nerve. She showed them a map of the settlement pointing out where their living quarters would be. Kathryn took Chakotay's hand and they made their way to their 'house'.

They walked into their new dwelling and looked around. Kathryn saw the congratulatory baskets and baby crib. "Well, it didn't take them long to do that."

Chakotay chuckled, "Leave it to our crew to be resourceful."

Kathryn led Chakotay to the bed and they lay down. Chakotay's hands wandered all over Kathryn's body feeling the new curves. "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you in the beginning."

"All that matters is you're here now."

"You are so beautiful Kathryn, and this makes you more beautiful."

His hands wandered up to her engorged breasts and began playing over their beautiful mounds. Kathryn sucked in a breath at the sudden contact. "It has been too long since you've touched me."

Chakotay looked at her, "It wasn't my choice Kathryn if it had been I would have been there the whole time with you, touching you and loving you."

Kathryn raised an eyebrow, "Well then, I guess you have six months to make up for."

Kathryn took Chakotay's hand and led it to the spots which he had known so well but had changed over the past six months.

Chakotay knelt down and blew soft kisses between Kathryn's legs. The intimate contact was almost too much and Kathryn shook her head asking him to stop before she fell into oblivion.

Silently asking the question and waiting for her consent he positioned himself between her thighs and entered her slowly filling her to the hilt.

She sighed at the wonderful feeling he was eliciting in her and she began moving inside her until he felt her inner muscles begin to contract. Unable to hold himself back he spilled his life seeds into her fertile womb.

Eventually they lay back in blissful silence and fell into a much needed sleep.

[0700 Next morning]

Kathryn slowly awoke and turned and heard Chakotay snoring next to her. *I love him.*

She smiled and wondered where the bathing units were on this planet.

Kathryn shook him awake and he grunted as he rolled over to face her. "We don't have to be on duty yet."

Kathryn shook her head, "Get up old man, I need a shower."

"I highly doubt that they thought of that when they picked this area for colonization."

Kathryn glared at him. "I saw a river not that far from here: We could always put it to good use."

Chakotay rolled his eyes, "You're encourageable woman."

"I can't help it: baby hormones."

"Let's go first to the dining area and see if we can get some breakfast into you, then we'll see about dessert."

Kathryn and Chakotay made their way to the makeshift mess hall. She went to Neelix who seemed to have overtaken the dining area and looked at the food laid out before them. "Oh, Captain: I have a surprise for you."

Kathryn raised an eyebrow intrigued. "Okay."

"The crew seems to have found a substance very close to coffee, would you like to try a cup?"

Kathryn moaned at the thought of coffee and nodded excitedly. "Please."

Neelix poured a cup of the coffee-like substance into a cup and Kathryn smelled it, taking in the aroma. "Oh Chakotay, look what they found."

Chakotay rolled his eyes, "And I thought that this planet would be just the place to rid her of her caffeine addiction."

Neelix stuttered. "I'm sorry Commander, I had no idea that it was that bad."

"Do you recall the earlier days aboard Voyager when she couldn't live without the stuff?"

Neelix looked embarrassed, "I'm sorry Chakotay."

Janeway was in her glory, "No need to be sorry Neelix, thank you."

Chakotay rolled his eyes and took two plates of something that looked like scrambled eggs. "Here if you eat this I won't give you a hard time about the coffee."

Kathryn nodded, not caring at the moment: All that mattered was coffee. "Whatever you say Chakotay."

[2 hours later]

Chakotay walked into sickbay with Kathryn hanging off of him. "Doctor, we have a problem."

He stared at Kathryn, she looked drunk. "She looks intoxicated!"

Chakotay threw his hands up, "I know but she hasn't had anything this morning except some scrambled eggs and one of Neelix's coffee substitutes."

The doctor rolled his eyes, "Half the stuff that Neelix serves would qualify as a health hazard."

"Okay well what can you do for her? She's carrying my children!"

"Calm down Chakotay, okay let me scan her and see what happened."

The doctor took out a tricorder and began scanning his Captain. "Hmmm...oh no."

Chakotay got concerned, "What do you mean oh no?"

The doctor sucked in a deep breath trying to figure out how to be diplomatic. "Remember when I said that the male foetus was smaller and more sickly than the female?"

Chakotay had tears in his eyes as he nodded fear encompassing him. "It appears that whatever was in that coffee that Neelix was giving her, has something that was toxic to the baby."

"What about the girl? Is she okay?"

He paused, "She did suffer some damage but she appears to be holding her own for the moment."

Chakotay wiped the tears from his eyes, "What about Kathryn?"

The doctor looked down, "She's resilient, and it appears that nothing will happen except that she'll wake up with the equivalent of a bad hangover."

Chakotay nodded, "Did Neelix know about this when he gave it to her?"

"I wouldn't think so, I didn't even know about it."

Chakotay nodded and realized that he couldn't really blame Neelix. It was an act of ignorance. He turned to Kathryn who was still hanging off of him."

He smoothed the hair out of her face. "Kathryn."

Kathryn slurred her words, "I don't think so Indian man: it's my turn."

"Your turn for what?"

Kathryn grabbed at Chakotay, *Oh that.* "I don't think so Kathryn, we need to get you home so you can sleep this off."

Kathryn gave an exasperated sigh. "Fine."

Chakotay picked Kathryn off the biobed, and the doctor stopped him. "I don't think it's such a good idea for you two to leave just yet she doesn't even know about –"

Chakotay shook his head, "I know but right now she probably won't understand anything that we say to her anyway; I think it would be better if she had a chance to sleep this off, then we can deal with this."

The doctor nodded, and let the command couple go. "Come on Kathryn you need your sleep."

She looked at him, "But I don't want to sleep I was having fun."

"You never have fun visiting the doctor, now I know you're out of it."

Kathryn rolled her eyes and glared at him, or as close to a glare as an intoxicated Kathryn could get. "Fine."

Just as Chakotay went to lead her out of the sickbay area, Kathryn turned to go the other way.

Chakotay rolled his eyes, "We live the other way Kathryn."

Kathryn sighed and followed Chakotay home.

[9 hours later – Janeway home]

Kathryn groaned as she rolled over and made her way towards the bathroom.

Chakotay heard the rumbling and followed her as usual.

Kathryn hunched over the toilet and lost whatever she had eaten the night before. Her hand went to her head, feeling a migraine coming on. "What happened last night?"

Chakotay stared at her, not sure how much to divulge. "Lots of stuff."

"I remember scrambled eggs, and coffee and then I don't remember much else."

*Good thing too.* "Come on Kathryn, I'll explain everything to you after you've had something to eat."

Kathryn got dressed and followed Chakotay out to the communal dining area.

Kathryn turned to look at Chakotay, "Can we stop by sickbay first to get something for this headache."

Chakotay thought better of pissing off a hormonally charged and in pain Kathryn and led her to sickbay.

[Sickbay]

Kathryn walked into sickbay looking a little worse for wear and the doctor rolled his eyes at the scene that was playing out before him. "I told you you shouldn't have got home last night; she just ended up right back here anyway."

Chakotay tried to send him a glare that would make Kathryn proud, but ended up looking like a lost puppy.

The doctor raised his eyebrows in annoyance, "Really Commander."

Kathryn glared at the doctor – glare set on level ten – "Can you just give me something for this headache and stop berating the Commander."

The doctor looked abashedly at Chakotay, "Did you explain to her what happened?"

Chakotay shook his head and ignored the comment.

"What happened Chakotay."

"We'll talk about it later Kathryn."

She looked confused at Chakotay, "I don't like being left in the dark, can you just explain what happened last night?"

Chakotay sighed, "How about we talk about this over breakfast."

She shook her head, "Please: what happened?"

"You need to eat, starving yourself isn't good for the baby."

"Babies remember it's twins."

Chakotay stuttered, "Let's go get something to eat."

"What aren't you telling me Chakotay?"

He sighed and stared at her, "Let's just discuss this later."

"I want to know what happened to my babies? This is about what happened last night isn't it."

Chakotay looked down and refused to look her in the eyes. "I promise I'll tell you everything when we get to the messhall."

Kathryn sucked in a deep breath and looked down at the puddle of water that was forming below her.

Chakotay turned to the doctor shocked. "Doctor!"

The doctor rushed over and scanned Kathryn seeing that the fluid surrounding the dead child had ruptured. "Come on Captain, we need to get you to the biobed."

The doctor scanned the female child and looked up at Chakotay.

Chakotay stared at the doctor, "You have to save my baby girl."

The doctor shook his head unsure, "I'm not sure I can Commander."

Chakotay had tears in his eyes, "You have to at least save Kathryn, I can't live without her."

"I'll do my best."

Chakotay was getting angry, "That's not good enough doctor!"

The doctor sighed, "I think you should go home and wait for news."

Chakotay was speechless, "You're sending me away."

The doctor turned away and walked back to where Kathryn was laying.

When he had seen Chakotay leave the medical facility, he tapped his commbadge. "Doctor to Paris."

"Paris here."

"Can you please come to sickbay and help me out and send your wife to go and stay with Chakotay."

The doctor heard a hesitation over the line and then, "Yes doctor."

[20 minutes later]

Tom walked into sickbay and saw Kathryn lying down on the biobed. He turned to the doctor, "Tom, I need your help."

"What's wrong with her?"

"She losing the babies. She had a bad reaction to Neelix's coffee."

Tom shook his head, "Both of them? She went through so much to get here; to give Chakotay his daughter: then she finds out she's carrying twins and then this happens."

"We have to try and help them out Mr. Paris."

Paris nodded and the medical team went to work.

[Same time – Janeway Quarters]

Chakotay heard the chime ring and wondered who the hell that could be. His life had just taken a drastic turn.

Just yesterday, Kathryn had appeared before him carrying his child (something he had totally not expected). It had just been once. One time and then, here they were.

Then this happened.

He got up and answered the door seeing a distraught B'Elanna standing on the other side of the door. "Hey."

"This really isn't a good time B'Elanna."

"My husband thinks otherwise." B'Elanna pushed past him and sat on the couch.

"B'Elanna now's really not a good time!"

She looked at him, "Tom just told me you might need some company at the moment."

Chakotay was seething, "My life is lying in sickbay and dying and you think I need company?"

B'Elanna stared at him. "I know your life has been turned upside down in the last six months, so have all of ours; but you have to get through this for Kathryn and the baby."

He let out a deep breath, "But I don't know if I'm strong enough B'E."

[Sickbay]

Tom stood over Kathryn, holding her hand; he had to make this okay.

The doctor beckoned him over to the other side of the bay. "She's going to bleed out if we don't get that baby out of her."

Tom swallowed the bile in his throat. "What about the one that's still alive?"

The doctor shook his head, "Her lifesigns are weakening too."

"And Kathryn?"

The doctor decided it was time to stop talking, "We have to get started."

[3 hours later – Janeway Quarters]

For the past two hours B'Elanna had provided a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen with. Before he got back to Voyager he had spent months thinking about Kathryn and if he would ever see her again.

When he had been brought back on board Voyager, he had gotten the surprise of his life finding her with child, a child that she had assured him was his.

He had prayed to the spirits, and then the doctor had informed him that it was twins she was carrying and his worry for the woman he loved had doubled.

He sighed, and turned to B'Elanna. "Thanks for listening."

She smiled, "Any time old man, and I have to tell you that if that child is anything like her mother: she'll be okay."

[Same time sickbay]

Tom sat at the bedside of the woman who had saved his life, and the lives of most people in this crew more often than they all cared to admit.

She was in a coma: she had lost a lot of blood.

The baby girl was lying in the crib. It had taken the doctor and himself two hours to stabilize them but it appeared the child would survive.

He looked back to Kathryn, she was so pale. Before she had lost consciousness and fallen into a coma she had named the child.

The child's name was Nevaeh Janeway. Nevaeh, 'Heaven' backwards.

She had said that this child was her heaven and her hope for the future.

Tom sighed and hit the commbadge. "Tom to Chakotay; could you please come to sickbay."

"Be right there."

Chakotay finally sat and wondered if even the great Kathryn Janeway could make it out of this one.

Five minutes later Chakotay walked into the medical facility. "Chakotay," he pointed at the crib. "Meet your daughter."

Chakotay's jaw dropped open and stared at the woman he wanted to make his wife - the woman who was his life – lying on the bed.

"What about Kathryn? Is she going to be okay?

Tom took in a deep breath, "Maybe you should speak with the doc."

Chakotay shook his head, "Tell me damnit!"

"Chakotay!" He grabbed the man by the shoulders. "You need to be there for Nevaeh right now, and then the doctor will tell you everything."

Chakotay took in a deep breath, "You're right Tom." He stepped over to the bassinette and stared at the baby girl. Fine red down on her head, and he was sure when the child opened her eyes they would be blue as the ocean: just like her mother.

He ran a finger over the child's cheek and felt how soft it was. Baby Nevaeh was going to be the apple of her mother's eye when Kathryn awoke.

And Kathryn had to wake up, she just had to.

[3 days later]

Kathryn eyes fluttered open as she moaned and tried to move her body. Chakotay grabbed her hand, "Hey, easy."

She ran her hand along her belly. "How long?"

"Total, four days."

Kathryn saw the sorrow in Chakotay's eyes, "And the baby?"

He threw a little smile her way, "Our daughter is fine: She'll make it."

"And the boy?"

"He died; I'm sorry."

Kathryn let the tears roll silently down her cheeks. "I guess one is better than none."

He hugged her tightly, "Would you like to meet Nevaeh?"

Kathryn had tears in her eyes as she nodded. Chakotay motioned to the doctor to roll the bassinette their way.

She looked into the baby's clear blue eyes and smiled. "We're in trouble."

He looked confused, "Why?"

"She's so beautiful, and she has your dimples."

He smiled, "I know it seems it's the only thing she got from me: She's the spitting image of her mother."

Kathryn laughed, "Poor thing."

The child began to fuss and Kathryn held her closer. The child would not quiet and Chakotay spoke up, "Maybe she's hungry Kathryn."

Kathryn scrunched up her face confused, "So what she hasn't eaten for four days?"

Chakotay grinned, "The doctor said we could supplement a bit until you get back on your feet."

Kathryn smiled and put her hands out for the child. When she finally got the baby in her arms, she put her near her breast. The baby wouldn't clasp, "Chakotay, she won't take it."

Chakotay walked up and stroked her hair. "It might take a while, and some practice, but it'll work out."

Kathryn handed the child back to her father, "I'm not even good enough for my own daughter."

Chakotay made her stare at him, "That's not true. You've been through a lot in the past week and I'm sure it'll get better and easier."

Kathryn sighed, "Maybe."

"I think you need to get some more sleep and we'll try with Nevaeh again tomorrow."

Kathryn nodded sadly and flipped over to go to sleep.

Chakotay held his daughter close once more and got a bottle from the replicator. The baby took it immediately and he knew that even though she would not take the lifesaving nutrients from Kathryn, at least she would eat.

He burped the child and put her back in the bassinette and told the doctor that he had to go, and he would be back for her next feeding when he was called.

The doctor agreed and Chakotay exited to go back to their quarters and plan for the day.

Chakotay went to their quarters and stared at the photo of baby Nevaeh that was sitting on the desk. He phone B'Elanna. "B'E, can you come over for a bit? I need to talk to someone."

He heard B'Elanna talking to Tom and then she came back 'online'. "Yeah, no problem."

[15 minutes later]

Chakotay heard a knock on the door and answered seeing B'Elanna standing there. "Come in."

B'Elanna looked troubled. She saw the tears in Chakotay's eyes. "What's up?"

"Kathryn woke up."

B'Elanna's eyes grew wide, "Oh my god Chakotay, that's amazing."

Chakotay shook his head, "I'm not sure that she'll be okay though."

B'Elanna looked at him confused, "I thought you said she woke up."

"She did, but the baby isn't accepting her, the baby doesn't want to feed. You should have seen the heartbreak in Kathryn's eyes when she couldn't breastfeed."

B'Elanna walked up to him and enveloped him in a hug, "Chakotay: we'll get her through this. For her and for Nevaeh."

Chakotay nodded, "But I don't know if I can help her: I'm not even sure I can help myself."

B'Elanna stared at him, her Klingon temper getting the best of her. "You have got to be kidding me. 'The Command Couple' of Voyager crumbles under the stresses of parenthood?"

"I'm just sure I can do it B'Elanna."

B'Elanna slapped him, "Maybe you should have thought about that before you slept with her."

"Lieutenant –"

"Oh please Chakotay. I have known you for a long time and we're not on Voyager anymore, and you have to step up to the plate."

Chakotay woke from his stupor and saw the wisdom in her words. Their conversation was halted by a hail from sickbay. "Doctor to Chakotay: Your daughter is hungry."

"On my way."

[Sickbay]

Chakotay walked in hurriedly, he was disappointed in himself that it had taken him ten minutes to get there.

He saw Kathryn curled up in the corner with Neveah squalling and waiting for supper.

The doctor walked up to him, "I'm so glad you're here. I was just about to feed her. Kathryn won't take the baby, and she's hiding behind her fear." He paused looking at the broken woman, "You have to help her she needs to try to bond with the child and let go of her fears."

Chakotay walked up to the crib and picked up his daughter and the bottle and went to feeding her. When the baby had finally quieted and fallen into a slumber he brought the child over to his love and looked at her. "Kathryn, look at her: She looks so much like you."

He paused, "She's your daughter."

Kathryn felt the tears welling up in her eyes. "Stop it Chakotay, I let down my crew; I let down my daughter and I let you down."

He walked up to her, "You never let me down Kathryn, and you never let the crew down." He didn't want to say anything about the baby. "Motherhood is new to you and you will make it. You've never been one to give up."

She turned to look at him, "Maybe this time I can't keep going, maybe this time I'm not what that child needs."

Chakotay stared at her, "Kathryn –"

"When that baby is ready to go home: take her. I will never be the mother she needs."

Chakotay went to answer and Kathryn stopped him. "Don't Chakotay. I don't need the pity, I never have."

"Kathryn maybe –"

"Stop it Chakotay. Stop it, I don't want the life you do, and I can't have it."

Chakotay shook his head, placed the baby back in the bassinette and walked out of sickbay.

[Janeway Quarters – 2 days later]

Chakotay heard the door and got up. It's was early still: Only 0800 hours. He opened the door and saw Ensign Hickman at the door. "Chakotay."

"It's only 8 o'clock Jessica. What's wrong?"

She had tears in her eyes. "I'm pregnant, and I don't know what to do." He paused staring at Chakotay, "I was wondering if you could ask Kathryn to help me out."

Chakotay laughed mirthlessly. "I don't think that Kathryn would be the best person to talk to about a baby."

Jessica stared at Chakotay, "What do you mean? She's the strongest woman most of us have ever met, and she'll make a great mother."

Chakotay looked down at her, "Maybe you should tell her that: She won't listen to me."

[Sickbay]

Ensign Hickman walked into sickbay and stared at the precious child that belonged to her two most senior officers. She began to feel the tears coming to her eyes. *How could anyone not love this baby?*

She walked up to where Kathryn was laying facing the wall, she had the baby in her arms. "Captain?"

Kathryn heard the voice of one of her crew, not Chakotay but someone who sounded like she needed the wisdom of the Captain. She spun around and saw Jessica Hickman. "Captain, there's someone I know that is having some problems, and she'd really appreciate your advice."

Kathryn all of a sudden went back to Captain's mode. "Who is it Jessica?"

Jessica smiled, "Her name is Nevaeh Janeway, and I don't know how anyone could not love a face like this."

Kathryn looked at the child in Jessica's arm. "Did Chakotay put you up to this?" She drew in a deep breath, "Because you can tell him it won't work."

Jessica looked at Janeway, "You have to help me. I just found out...I'm pregnant, and I need some advice."

Kathryn let a sardonic laugh escape her, "And what exactly would make you think that I would be the right person to help you out?"

Jessica sighed, "Because you are the strongest person I know, and you did it." She looked into Janeway's eyes, "And I can only hope to be the mother you are."

"Jessica, I'm not the woman that everyone thinks I am, and I'm not the mother that everyone thinks I will be. The only thing I can think is to go and ask Samantha: She seemed to do a good job with Naomi, I'm sure she'd help you out." She turned around so her back was to the woman, "Now if you don't mind, the doctor said I was going to be released in two hours, and I need to get ready to go."

Jessica turned and walked out of the medical lab and made a direct line for Samantha's living area. "Hickman to Chakotay."

"Chakotay here."

"The plan is under way."

She heard the smile on the other side of the line and then the words, "Thank you Jessica."

Kathryn got ready and the doctor discharged her. He looked at her and implored her to make one last attempt to bond with her daughter.

When she ignored the child totally, the doctor sighed and went to give Nevaeh her bottle.

[2 hours later – settlement square]

Kathryn walked and went inadvertently by the plaque, commemorating all the people who had perished on the trip to the planet.

Kathryn read the names, she hadn't realized there had been over 30 crewmembers who hadn't made it to the planet.

As she scanned the names she saw one that stood out. 'Samantha Wildman.' She scanned it a second then a third time and didn't see Naomi's name there.

She drew in a deep breath became the Captain once again and made her way to the quarters where she was told Naomi was staying.

Kathryn continued to walk down the makeshift roads that her crew had created.

She sighed and continued to walk. When she got to the house that was supposedly where Naomi was staying, she took in a deep breath and knocked on the door.

The door opened and Tal Celes walked out, "Oh...Captain. Hello."

Kathryn grinned at the impact that her presence still made on some of the junior officers. "Is Naomi there?"

Celes turned around and called to Billy Telfer, "Billy, the Captain's here and she'd like to talk to Naomi."

Billy walked nervously to the door with Naomi in tow. "Captain." He stuttered, "How's the baby?"

Kathryn didn't answer, instead she just waited hoping for Naomi to hurry up and come soon. Soon her prayers were answered and Naomi came running out to her and hugged her, "Captain!"

She smiled at the little girl, "How's the baby?"

Kathryn felt a shadow fall over her face and ignored the question. "How would you like to come visit me and your uncle Chakotay tonight?"

Naomi looked at Billy and Celes, "Can I?"

Billy looked at Celes, "If you ask her and she says yes; I don't see a problem."

Kathryn nodded and took Naomi's hand and off they went.

[30 minutes later – Janeway House]

Kathryn walked through the doors with Naomi in tow. "Chakotay? You here?"

She heard Chakotay laugh, "No I left an hour ago!"

Kathryn chuckled and watched Chakotay exit the bedroom with Nevaeh. "Look who got released today Kathryn."

Kathryn felt the blood drain from her face and watched Naomi run up to Chakotay. "Oh she's so cute." At Chakotay's nod she ran her hand over the child's head. "And she looks just like you Captain."

Kathryn gave a faint smile and walked up to where Chakotay was standing with her baby in his arms. Kathryn stared at the child and noticed for the first time how much the child really looked like her.

"She is adorable."

Chakotay nodded and tried to pass the child to her mother, "And I think she's hungry."

Naomi stared at the couple wondering what was going to happen next. She watched as Kathryn took the baby and held her close. The baby began rooting and Kathryn was unsure what to do next.

Chakotay handed her a nursing blanket and Kathryn unsurely accepted the blanket and sat down on the couch.

Naomi looked confused at the Captain and turned to Chakotay. "What's she doing?"

He pulled Naomi towards the kitchen, "She's feeding her daughter."

"Is she going to give her a bottle?"

Chakotay shook his head, "I'm not sure Naomi, but let's leave her alone."

Naomi nodded and followed Chakotay out to the kitchen. "Hey Naomi, let's make some cookies."

Naomi nodded excitedly and went to the fridge to get some eggs and milk.

[Living Room]

Kathryn held baby Nevaeh and stared down at her, knowing what she had to try and do. She placed the blanket over her shoulder and covered the child's head as she tried to latch her on.

She felt the pain of the first nursing and the milk begin to flow. A smile came to Kathryn's face and she felt like her life was going in the right direction for the first time since she had given birth to her daughter.

[Kitchen]

Chakotay listened and heard no noise coming from the bedroom. Half an hour later Kathryn exited the living area with baby Nevaeh in her arms and a peaceful look on her face: She was burping the baby.

Kathryn looked to Chakotay as he saw the baby now falling asleep safe in her mother's arms. "I love you Chakotay." She mouthed.

"I love you to Kathryn, and thank you for her."

Kathryn nodded and looked to Naomi. "So how are the cookies coming along?"

"Just fine Captain." She grinning, "Thank you."

She smiled at the little girl, "Why don't you call me Aunt Katie, with the shape the ship is in I don't know if I'll ever be the Captain again."

The child's face fell, "Does that mean I can't be your Captain's assistant anymore?"

Kathryn placed Nevaeh in the bassinette. "No but maybe you can be my helper with the baby." Kathryn looked to Chakotay who nodded.

Naomi looked at the little baby, and nodded excitedly. "Can I live here? I'm sick of moving back and forth to different houses."

Chakotay stared at his wife, unsure of what her next move would be. She stared at Chakotay begging him to say yes. "I guess we have an extra room, we could have you live here if Tal and Billy are okay with it."

Naomi jumped up and down, "Oh thank you so much."

Naomi looked at Kathryn. The innocence was almost too much for Kathryn. "I need to speak to them and then we'll see what we can do."

Naomi nodded and Kathryn watched her yawn. "Are you tired Naomi?"

She drew in a deep breath, "Maybe a little, can I take a nap while Uncle Chakotay is making supper?"

Kathryn nodded and told her she could go and nap in their room. Naomi nodded and padded off to the room.

Ten minutes later when she was sure that Naomi was asleep Kathryn turned to Chakotay. "What do you think of our family?"

Chakotay chuckled, "It seems that my wife is interested in doubling our children."

Kathryn looked down. "Well if I had've been able to keep that second baby safe, we would have had twins."

"Kathryn, it was a mistake, and awful horrible mistake, but we have a healthy baby girl; and it looks like the mother daughter bonding is beginning."

She smiled, "It was incredible Chakotay. My body is producing all that's important for my daughter's first days and months of life."

"So she finally took it huh?"

She laughed, "Yeah Chakotay, now you have to share them."

Chakotay stared at Kathryn, "A sacrifice I'm more than willing to make."

[2 hours later – Telfer House]

Celes heard the knock on the door and opened it to reveal Janeway, Chakotay and Naomi. "Hello Celes."

Tal looked at Kathryn, she was holding the baby in a carrier. Tal pushed back the fabric that was obscuring her view of the child's face, "Oh my god Captain: She's beautiful!"

"Thanks Celes, I'm so happy right now."

Tal looked at the woman who was her superior officer, "I hope my baby's as cute."

Kathryn's jaw dropped open. "You're pregnant?"

Tal nodded, "The doctor said I'm due in about four months."

Kathryn smiled and looked at the couple, "Congratulations."

Billy popped his head out, "Thanks Captain, Commander."

Naomi was standing there just about jumping out of her skin she was so excited. "Yay, there's going to be more babies." She stared at Tal, "I have to ask you two something."

Tal nodded, "What's up Naomi?"

"Well, Aunt Katie and Chakotay said I could live with them, but first I have to ask you. They said if you said yes it was okay." She stopped rambling for a second, "I want to say thank you though for taking care of me the last couple of months."

Tal smiled, "We're going to miss you Naomi, but if this is what you really want how can we say no."

Naomi grinned and ran up to Billy hugging him, "Thank you."

Billy smiled at Chakotay. "I hope you guys are happy with the new baby, and soon we'll give her a playmate."

Chakotay nodded and put his hand on Kathryn's shoulder. "We're really happy for you Billy, and happy as a whole."

Kathryn passed the baby to Billy and walked over to hug Tal. "Why don't we come in and help Naomi pack and Chakotay can make us something to eat."

Chakotay glared at his wife, "Thanks for asking Kathryn."

"No problem Chakotay, just remember that I still have to be the one to feed this one."

Nevaeh started to fuss, as if know that they were talking about her. Kathryn picked up the baby and brought her up to her shoulder trying to calm her. She checked the baby's bottom, "Well now I know what the problem is."

She changed Nevaeh's bum and sat down to feed her, Once the baby was fed and changed she watched Chakotay finish cooking and then sat down with everyone else for supper.

Once dinner was done, Kathryn walked into 'Naomi's room' and helped her pack everything away. By the end of the night, Kathryn and Chakotay took both their daughters home for the night.

[6 months later – Voyager Settlement]

Kathryn stared at her daughter and felt the happiness overwhelm her. Naomi came up to Kathryn, "Can I go outside and play?"

Kathryn put her finger to her lips telling Naomi to be quiet the baby was sleeping, and nodded telling Naomi it was okay for her to go outside.

They had been on the planet now for six months, and five month old Nevaeh was the apple of her mother's eye. Chakotay walked out of the bedroom and took the baby from her mother to put it into her crib since she was sleeping.

Chakotay put the child in her crib and walked back out and sat down beside Kathryn. "We have a good life Kathryn."

Kathryn nodded, "Naomi went out to play, I think she was with Billy at the time."

Chakotay nodded. "It's getting awfully dark outside, do you think that Naomi should come in?"

Kathryn laughed, "It's only rain Chakotay. I spent many a day in Indiana in the rain."

"Were you four years old?"

"She's with Billy, he'll keep her safe." Kathryn glared at him, "They'll be fine Chakotay."

Kathryn all of a sudden heard a thunder clap and Chakotay watched as a bolt of lightning tore across the sky.

Kathryn's jaw dropped open, "We never had storms like that in Indiana." Chakotay stared at her, "I'm going to look for them."

Kathryn had a feeling of foreboding seep through her body as she watched her husband rush out of the house.

[Outside the settlement]

Chakotay ran through the woods looking for any sign of where the children may have gone. "Naomi!"

Chakotay heard his voice echo through the trees but didn't see Naomi anywhere. Then out of the corner of his eye, she saw a flash of red; and ran towards it trying to reach the goal.

He heard a shrill scream and ran towards the space where his adoptive daughter was playing and Billy was trying to keep her safe.

He saw Naomi lying on the ground and ran up to her. Billy was stuttering something that Chakotay didn't want to hear. He felt for a pulse and felt nothing, Billy looked up at him, "I'm so sorry Chakotay. I told her not to go near the river."

Chakotay felt the tears welling in his eyes and picked up the lifeless body of the girl who had made a difference in all of their lives, especially his wife's.

He ran to the medical facility screaming for the doctor to help his daughter. The doctor laid the girl on a biobed and began taking readings. "I'm sorry Chakotay, there's nothing that you could have done."

Chakotay let his head fall to his hands and began shedding tears for the girl who had left a large hole in everyone's heart.

Naomi had been struck by lightning and the death was apparently quick, but that didn't mean the pain would be swift.

He walked home and heard Kathryn attempting to quiet the baby who was fussing in her crib. "Kathryn, we need to talk."

Kathryn finally got the child quieted down and walked into the living room where Chakotay was seated on the couch. "What's wrong? Where's Naomi?"

He sighed, "Kathryn: Naomi died."

Kathryn's jaw dropped. "What?"

She died Kathryn, she was out playing and was hit by a bolt of lightning near the river.

Kathryn shook her head, "How is that possible? The weather was so nice when I let her go out and then this."

"Kathryn we're still not sure about the weather conditions on this planet, but now we know."

Kathryn let her hands approach her mouth and covered it before Chakotay heard a scream resonate throughout the house and watched his wife fall to her knees in shock.

Chakotay went down to his knees and looked her in the eyes. "Kathryn."

She wouldn't respond, and all Chakotay could think was that she was in shock. He stared at her, and then he stared at the bassinette that held their child.

He picked up Nevaeh and stared at Kathryn broken before him.

Kathryn had made it through the worst of life, she had lost crewmembers, she had beaten the Borg, the Hirogen, the Krenim and he would be damned if he was going to let this planet beat her.

He patted the baby's back and picked up the bottle: She was hungry.

The baby smiled at him, and he patted her back trying to get a burp out of her. She burped and he placed her on the blanket to play with her toys.

Then he walked over to Kathryn and went down to the ground bringing her face up and wiped the tears from her eyes. "Kathryn."

The tears came on top of each other now, "Chakotay, I can't do this anymore."

He walked up to her, "Come here."

He hugged her and she allowed it. She stared at him, "It's not fair Chakotay, I need to try and get Voyager running again: I can't give up."

Chakotay lowered his mouth to hers, he pulled back. "Sometimes you have to Kathryn. Sometimes you do your best and that's all you can do."

Chakotay hugged her tighter and felt her breathing speed up. "It'll be alright Kathryn. What happened to Naomi was a tragedy but it happens."

Kathryn nodded, "I know; and I'll be fine."

Chakotay nodded and heard the baby begin to fuss. "I think that Nebaeh probably needs her diaper changed."

Kathryn nodded and walked back into the bedroom.

[Telfer home]

Billy stared at Celes, "She's gone."

Celes nodded and rubbed her tummy, just beginning to show the signs of a baby on the way. "The chances of the lightening hitting her and her dying –"

Billy walked up to Tal, "Hey, it's okay. It's no-one's fault; it was just a tragic happenstance."

"She was such a beautiful child Billy. So beautiful, and now she's gone." Tal was getting hysterical. "We let her go and now she's gone for good."

Billy shook his head, "Her death is no one's fault Tal, no one's fault least of all yours. Right now what you have to do is take care of this one." He touched her tummy.

Tal sniffled and nodded, "I know, but it seems so wrong."

"It'll be okay."

Tal nodded, "I know, but it just seems like such a waste. She made it through the Delta Quadrant, and to die like this."

"I know honey, but everything will be okay."

[Dining area]

Kathryn walked into the dining area with baby Nevaeh in her arms. She walked over to where B'Elanna and Tom were sitting.

B'Elanna immediately put out her hands to get little baby Nevaeh from her mother. "Here, let me see the little darling."

Kathryn scoffed, "Darling right. Remember whose child this is."

B'Elanna grabbed the child from her former Captain anyway, "I think she's precious Kathryn."

Kathryn handed the child to her best friend. "So when are you and Tom going to expand our little settlement?"

B'Elanna smiled, "In about six months." She stared at Kathryn, "Give or take."

"Oh B'Elanna: that's wonderful."

"Yeah well we'll see what Tom thinks of this."

"He doesn't know yet?"

B'Elanna shook her head, "Not yet. I'm going to have to tell him soon, I don't think this is something I can keep from him forever."

She grinned, "I know the feeling."

B'Elanna's eyes got wide. "Again?"

"Well I didn't mean it to happen so soon, especially only six months after loosing Edward, but I suppose what's done is done."

Kathryn laughed, "I guess it's a good thing we're not still on Voyager: Can you imagine a pregnant Captain and Chief Engineer?"

"True Kat, but like you said: what's done is done."

She smiled, "Well, I guess we should inform the boys."

[4 years later]

The Voyager settlement was thriving. They had spent those years trying to get Voyager back to flight configuration.

One night, Kathryn sat at her living room table with three year old Kole Janeway and five year old Neveah, looking over the schematics that B'Elanna had made for their final take off with Voyager.

They had made a new life for themselves here, and she wasn't sure that she wanted to leave it behind.

Since the settlement's establishment, five years ago: 23 children had been born, and the schools they had created were thriving when she received a hail.

It had been a long time since they had made contact with anyone that was part of the Federation and this could very well be their last chance. "Starship Contact to human settlement."

Kathryn had run her hands over her eyes, not sure if this was real. Kathryn had slowly made her way to the communications board and pressed the button. "This is Kathryn Janeway, formerly of the Starship Voyager: How may we help you?"

She saw an elderly man appear on her screen. "This is Captain Jellico, it's taken a few years longer than we'd like, but the mission to find Voyager appears to have finally succeeded."

Kathryn smiled, "It appears so, but how did you get here?"

"There will be time for everything later on. Needless to say we finally perfected slipstream flight, and now we're here to bring you home."

Kathryn nodded. In all the years that she had wished for Starfleet to bring them home, this was the only time she wasn't sure if this was what she wanted anymore. "I need to speak to the settlement's founders and see what they have to say Captain. I'll be in contact with you by day's end tomorrow."

The Captain, an image from her past nodded and the link was cut.

Kathryn tapped her communications console and requested a meeting with all the founding fathers of the settlement to see how in the end this challenge would be met.

[2 hours later – meeting room Voyager Settlement]

"So those are our options people. Stay here and continue the settlement in the Beta Quadrant or go home with the Starship and the slipstream technology that they've brought us."

B'Elanna was speechless. "How can we leave behind everything we've accomplished here."

Kathryn shook her head, "That's why I needed to meet with everyone, see what your ideas were."

Harry piped up, "Maybe it's time for us to finally go home."

Tom stared at Harry, "Is Earth even home anymore?"

Kathryn watched as her former senior staff debated all the pros and cons of finally getting home. "You all have until the end of the day to finally figure out what you want to do. Talk to your friends, your families and see what they're opinion is, and tomorrow we'll make the announcement one way or another."

The group nodded and off they went. Chakotay slowly came around to Kathryn, "So what do you think Kat?"

"I honestly don't know Chakotay, maybe it's time one of our children is born on Earth."

Chakotay's eyes got wide as he stared at Kathryn and she nodded, "Hell of a way to tell me Kat, are you sure?"

"Well I haven't had the doctor confirm it yet, but I'm pretty sure."

"I thought we were too old for little accidents like this."

"Me too, but it looks like nothing is ever for sure."

[18 hours later]

Kathryn stood in front of the viewscreen. The crew had decided that to Earth they wanted to go. Their hearts were still there.

The Captain transported up the crew, all 154 of them and Kathryn stared at Jellico. "Is it okay if I visit your sickbay?"

The Captain nodded and pointed her in the right direction. Kathryn slowly made her way to sickbay and realized that doctor Bashir had been posted to the 'Contact."

She walked through the sickbay doors and made her way to the biobed.

Bashir approached her, "Ah, Captain Janeway. I was told you'd be making an appearance."

Kathryn nervously nodded, "I need you to scan me and make sure that I'm right in my thoughts that I'm going to be expecting another child."

Bashir scanned Kathryn once over, "Well it appears you are correct Captain. You're about 9 weeks along."

Kathryn grinned, "Thank you doctor."

[4 days later]

The slipstream flight had been pretty uneventful. It took four days but Voyager's crew were finally within the Earth's solar system.

Kathryn sent a message out to everyone formerly of the U.S.S. Voyager stating that they were home and that life would go on.

B'Elanna approached Kathryn's door and rang the chime. Chakotay quickly answered the door. "B'Elanna, happy to be home?"

"I hope that Admiral Paris is happy with our brood."

Chakotay smiled, "I'm sure he'll be ecstatic with how well Tom and the family have turned out."

She drew in an unsteady breath, "I hope he's happy having a half-Klingon for a daughter-in-law."

"When he sees the two boys, I'm sure he'll be happy; and one was even named after him, which I'm sure will make him even happier."

B'Elanna smiled, "I hope so old man."

[8 hours later]

The Voyager crew had been debriefed. The former Maquis were cleared of all wrongdoing and most had taken their commissions and kept up with their careers.

Kathryn took Chakotay's hand in hers and little Nevaeh's hand in her other.

In his other arms, he carried little Kole. The little boy was getting a little big to be carried everywhere, but Chakotay loved his little boy.

The couple slowly approached the Janeway family home. Phoebe came rushing out and hugged Kathryn almost bowling her over in the process. "Are you really home Kath?"

Kathryn nodded and the tears in her eyes displayed her happiness. "I'm so glad to be home."

"When Captain Jellico said they were going out searching for you, I wasn't sure if he'd be able to find you in the vast expanse of the universe; now I find out you came home not only with a husband, but with two grandkids for mom."

Phoebe's hands went out and grabbed little Kole. "Oh Kath, he is adorable, and this little one is going to be a heartbreaker when she gets older."

Kathryn smiled, "Enough about my life, what's happened to you over the past seven years?"

"Well, I haven't been blessed with children, but last August I got married. Barry will be here to meet the infamous Kathryn Janeway tonight at supper time."

"Let's get inside, I'm sure mom would love to meet the brood."

The group walked through the doors to see Gretchen Janeway perched on the couch. It appeared her health had become a little worse for wear over the years. "Katie? Is it really you."

Kathryn walked over to her mother and pulled the frail woman into an embrace. "Yeah, I'm finally home."

Gretchen smiled, "And brought a family home with you I see."

Kathryn nodded with tears in her eyes and passed the littlest Janeway to her mother. "This is Kole, and this," She pulled the little girl out from behind her "Is Nevaeh."

Gretchen almost cried at the surprise that Kathryn had brought home with her. "Oh they're beautiful Katie."

Kathryn smiled as he hand ran surreptitiously over her abdomen.

Gretchen was nothing if not observant. "And you're going to give me another grandchild I see."

Kathryn nodded, "In about six months."

"Oh this is so wonderful Kate." She smiled. "So did your life turn out as you thought it would?"

"Better mom, better than I ever imagined."

THE END


End file.
